Directionless? Or too many directions?

I've really been thinking about what I am doing with my life and what I am doing in school. I think I need to go somewhere to clear my mind and think about what I want to do in the future. I have this image of me going to a peaceful park and lying there to daydream for hours about my future life and maybe coming upon a decision or at least a list of ideas from that sort of productive daydreaming.

I am losing direction.
I still want to be a psychology major because I find the classes intellectually stimulating and very interesting to learn about and apply to my own life and the lives of others. But I am wondering if a music minor is still an excellent choice. It probably is since it's not too hard to get done. What about global studies too? I have no idea.

Deciding classes for school is stressful.
I got an email today (FINALLY) from the psychology department telling me exactly what classes would apply to my major here. I have 4-5 classes left to do, and two of them I cannot do while abroad cause they're UCSB located only classes. So 2-3 I need to do while abroad.

I found out that of the three classes I submitted for psychology major credit (plus independent study), two count for psychology major credit (two is better than none I guess) but the one I totally thought would count for psychology major credit totally doesn't at all. What a suprise! I enjoy the class though, and I think it will count for culture and thought ge credit, so I will continue taking it.

It's hard to think about what classes will fulfill ges, and what classes will fulfill what major stuff, and what classes will be too hard, and am I taking too much, and yadda yadda yadda.

I have a lot of general education classes to fulfill here, but I think I will be getting those out of the way easily. I'm not entirely sure yet though. UCSB hasn't given me any definite answers on those. Studying abroad feels like kind of a gamble with education, you know? You could waste SO much time and units. I guess it's life experience though. But you know, they really should make it easier if they want students to have an easier time transitioning. It's hard enough with EVERYTHING else about acclimating and having a normal life and joining clubs plus GOING TO SCHOOL AND TAKING CLASSES. And probably getting a job too so I can afford things more than just eating really cheaply everyday. I want to look good. And actually maybe even make some damn money.
College is stressful, ne?

I feel less and less connected to the institution of college/high school education everyday. It seems as if knowledge and personal growth is meaningless to prove your worth, it is merely the classes you have taken and the grades you have gotten and the asses you have kissed of faculty and staff which will determine the way employers view your potential worth and hire-ability for their company. I don't even want to work in a company, I think. I want to be one or many of these many things:
A) a therapist (practically self-employed, just need to get through college and grad school with a master's degree and relatively good grades, however to get into a great grad school like Columbia or UChicago (IKITAIIIII!!!!) I must do really well in college and get some good recommendations)
B) a singer/musician (no degree necessary but I want one for the knowledge and in case things fall through. I should also be taking musical classes and doing at least the minor to expand my horizons and learn more)
C) owning a company (business would be useful but I think I could just get an MBA in the future if I decide to go on that track, graduating with a psychology degree will be semi-useful, maybe global studies would be helpful as well to increase my foreign expansion potential if necessary)
D) a writer (no degree necessary but I think I should get one for the knowledge and the expertise)
E) a professor/teacher (a master's degree or Ph.D I think is necessary to fulfill this, and a good educational standing. But I don't have to be perfect)
F) a dreams or social psychology researcher ((a master's degree or Ph.D I think is necessary to fulfill this, and a good educational standing. But I don't have to be perfect. I should also work on getting lab credits and independent research, and perhaps writing some extensive lab reports in the field if so)

For half of those occupations, college is essential. But it appears that I will have no typical company-working job, for that matter. I will either be working for a school, or be self-employed, or be working as a performing/creative entity of a company, which is much different than office work.

At least I aspire to never be doomed to that fate. But what if I end up there?

I consider everything life experience. I just don't want to be wasting it right now, and I want to be making the right decisions, especially since I am so young and my life could go in so many ways right now.

At first I thought I would try to get out of college as soon as possible so I could figure out what to do with my life after and just get out, but now I am starting to realize that I don't necessarily need to do that. I think it's because I didn't really like UCSB and I didn't like the academic reputation and I didn't want to spend four years of my life there wasting my time or anything. Now that I am here in Japan things are different. I can take my time and consider things.

Also, my mother recently said that she would like me to take as much time as I want in college, as long as I accomplish the things I need to do, like getting an extra degree such as global studies or music. I thought that would be just wasting time, but maybe this isn't a bad idea. Maybe I should take my time really getting my degree jampacked with job opportunities. Or maybe I shouldn't. I hear more and more that the major/majors tacked on a college degree mean less and less, unless it's in a highly technical and specific field, such as engineering or computer science or the like. Which I am not a part of. It's more of a set path for them, but it's damn hard for us humanities kids to figure out what the hell we are going to do after college. I guess I should be happy to be able to make these decisions. They're just so weighty and time-consuming.

My mother also seemed to think a psychology degree would get me nowhere. I've heard this from many a person. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not. I think it's just what you choose to do with it, but I have a sinking feeling it will get me in to many fields, but not very far since there are so goddamn many of us psychology kids out there. But I really do enjoy the major. I just need things to set me apart.

To add to the job list: I could also work as some foreign diplomat or something too, if I get more global studies experience and continue studying Japanese and brush up on my Spanish. I really enjoy learning languages. And that sounds like an exciting but tough job.

It is becoming more apparent to me everyday that getting a job is not only based on your credentials, but the way you present yourself (which I am getting much better at), your conviction to the job, and your CONNECTIONS. I need to make more connections. I am trying :)

Networking is SO important.
Being here in Japan is helping me to realize this.

You will get a shit entry level job in a place you do not like if you do not have connections. You will not get into the college you love without connections (unless you are the most qualified candidate in the world). You will probably never meet your future husband without connections. You will never become a musician or singer without connections. (trying to make those here now!)

So many apparently closed doors or doors you never even could dream of can open from these networking connections. So many of these opportunities would be lost to you without proper connections.

Man.
It's crazy.
I need to keep a list of everyone I meet, and how they might be useful to me in the future. Being at Keio University (a school based on prestige, social connections, and whatnot) and being here in Japan has been teaching me this. Obviously, friends are extremely important, and perhaps their value, more than just as friends and as social support/fun/whatever, will come into play later in my life/future endeavors. I'm sure this list will be extraordinarily useful to me in the future. If not, at least I had the right idea. Or maybe I can help another friend succeed using my connections. You never know.

I am thinking so hard right now it hurts. I just got back from clubbing and I need to sleep since I have a field trip at 1 pm today and I need to leave my house by 12 noon to get to Nippori.

Can't wait though, it should be awesome. Should be taking hella pictures and going to some artist's gallery. Galleries are so amazing, especially when they're really intellectually stimulating.

I just want to LEARN!!! I think this is my problem in college. I have too many interests. I want to take classes in every subject! D:

Regardless, I just hope I will be awake and not requiring the use of coffee as an extreme stimulant just for an art class field trip...