An email I sent to my mom... It covered what I wanted to say here, mostly :P

Class starts tomorrow! We had orientation and a welcome ceremony today, which was fun. Well the welcome ceremony was, lol. I was really suprised and happy that there are cultural programs planned for us every Thursday afternoon. We don't have to go to them, but we could sign up for them today. The JWU students are putting them on for us and either doing cultural activities in the University or taking us on excursions. We could choose between the in-university programs, like making paper fans, or the out of university programs, which are things like going to a temple and meditating, going on a cool thrift store district excursion, going to the Meiji shrine, going to the NHK japanese television channel's filming station and interactive center, and going to the Japanese Diet building and learning about Japanese parliament. I obviously signed up for all of the out of university programs since they sound so fun! :) So I'll be going to one every Thursday night.
We met a lot of really nice japanese students, who were extremely eager to talk to us... we kind of spoke in a mix of japanese and english so it was a stretch on both ends but it was really useful. Japanese people generally really love me. Haha. It's like I can't make a mistake because I am a cute blond blond girl who can kind of speak japanese.. suddenly I seem like a "real pro". It's weird. Another girl in the program said I was lucky because asian people who come to Japan who can kind of speak japanese at our level get weird looks if they mess up, but if a white person opens their mouth and speaks japanese, it's unexpected and exciting. Therefore everyone is immediately more interested in me (hopefully mostly in a friendly way, haha).
I also got national health insurance today with a group of other students and we explored ikebukuro for a couple hours after.. it's really an exciting place, with lots of music shops, and it's only one stop from Sugamo station. How convenient!
I'm going to take a shower and go to bed soon since class starts at nine tomorrow... woo. I've been going to bed early though, since I get really tired if I stay up past 12. How convenient! I guess this is a good thing for me!
I've been wanting to tack the word "ne" on every single sentence I've spoken in english today.. It's like the equivalent of "right?" or "of course" in japanese, depending on the context. Like "Totemo muzukashii neeee" would be like "It's really really difficult, huh?" My japanese is already getting better just from speaking it! And I'm getting better at Kanji just from needing to identify certain things here like soymilk :P
Well I'm gonna go take a shower! Sayonara suckers!

Japan rocks.

So today was like the third day of the ILP program, technically… and I’ve been in Japan for like… 6 days now. Woo! It feels like every day I change a little bit in my views of Japan, my views of myself as a foreigner in Japan, and my interests in accomplishing certain goals and desires for my stay here. I still want to be a singer, lol. I’ve heard that if I join a music circle/club at Keio, it can be really good because there can be like, famous people in the circle and it could be like joining a band technically… or there’d at least be people who are all interested in being in a band and performing! I want to sing sooo bad. I’m actually already getting instrument withdrawal.. when I walked through Ikebukuro near the train station with my dad before he finally let me be at the ILP program, I saw tons of cute little music shops… I just want to take a little trip and go to go play the guitars there or the pianos there! I think that would be soooo fun  I really want to buy a cheap guitar or keyboard or SOMETHING because I am going to go crazyyyy without some way to express my musical thoughts. And I don’t want to bother anyone by singing too loud… plus I can’t do it much in public without getting stares (that goes for anywhere in the world).
So I need some music in my life as soon as I can get it :) Hopefully when I start getting the JASSO little purchases like that will seem negligible :P
So let me tell you about today (and last night). My dad (finally) left, we had dinner because he insisted on it so we went to this cute little Japanese place (almost duh) in Sugamo (the district of Tokyo in which everyone in EAP is currently staying). In Shinjuku, which is one of the more crowded, busy places, it is not uncommon to see tourists occasionally, so people would kind of look at me as an American girl sometimes, but it wasn’t out of curiosity, just out of slight unfamiliarity with routine, if anything. People were happy if I spoke Japanese though, but they didn’t act like it was a big deal. Sugamo is still very lively and still very much part of Tokyo, but it’s nowhere as crowded or famous as Shinjuku, Roppongi, or Harajuku. There is a larger old population there, but it’s so cuteeee :) so I walk through the streets there and heads turn immediately. Eyes widen. Lengthy stares are far from uncommon. I’ve had people come up to me and say I’m totemoooo beautiful. And EVERYONE there is really happy and excited that I can speak Japanese. It’s very nice. It’s more homey. And still amazingly part of Tokyo, with Karaoke and Pachinko Parlors and takusan little stores all along the street with a little cheaper prices. I <3 Sugamo. But anyway, I was in this restaurant with my dad and I started asking the waitress for the menu and waters and talking with her, and this really old guy behind my dad got so excited and stood up and came over to us. He proceeded to tell us that I was extremely beautiful, and that I could not be my dad’s daughter because I couldn’t have been that young. Hahaa. It’s interesting that the reactions people have to me as a foreigner are completely different than the reactions they have to other EAP students who are asian… They get frustrated with the Asians who can’t speak Japanese, hahaa. With me as a blue-eyed blond haired girl, suddenly I am unfamiliar, sexy, and mysterious. Let’s see if I can hold up the mystique :P
Anyway, I made friends when my group for testing yesterday was going to head back from the test center at JWU. We had a lot of fun shopping for stuff together and we found a really cheap grocery store (88 cents for strong alcoholic lemon drinks? Yes!!) I can’t get over the fact that I can buy alcohol. It feels so awesome and so illegal. Well, it is not legal, but no one will dare card me, as I am a foreigner and I look of age. So hell yes. I feel empowered.
We also drank together last night and channel-flipped with Japanese tv, rating all of the girls and guys we saw. It was quite fun. I feel like some of them have the potential to become really close friends… we’ll see how things go though!
And this morning, we went to ICU to visit the Tokyo Center and have an orientation about being here in Japan. We learned a bunch of tips that I wish I had known like three days ago, like what passes to get for the subway and where to get alien registration cards… etc. I could have used that a couple days ago when my dad was trying to take me everywhere in the world to get me established. It was nice, but at the same time, he is the most stressful person in the world to be with most of the time, unless he’s had some to drink. So I tried to keep him a little less than sober, which wasn’t hard because all I had to do was suggest that he get some beer and off he’d go to a vending machine or get some with dinner. How weird. He loves spending money on himself but he stresses everyone out about money and spending. He’s quite the unfair man.

So back to what I was saying, after orientation I went with my friend Grace and the people she was hanging with to go shopping on our way back from ICU. It took us a good hour and a half to get to ICU in the morning (I’m so glad I’m not going there), so we stopped about halfway on the Chuo line at some place that I forget the name of hahah. There was cool shopping there and I totally wanted to spend a lot of money buying cute things and keychains… etc. I also wanted to buy presents! But I guess it’s too early? Saw nano lego kits (small mini thin legos, like japan) and mameshiba phone charms (I want one), and Shokku Boobs (Oh lizzzie, you would want a pair so badly).
We also got dinner and had a lot of fun. I had an amazing soup, salad, and four little piece of foccicia beard. It was excellent. And cheap! 4 dollars total. I’ve been eating out with a budget conscience.
Now I want to upload this to my blog, but I can’t because the internet is down in the whole building! Neeeeeeeee. :( totemo warui desu yo. Watashi no tomodachi to skype ni shitai! :( I’ll upload it tomorrow! I just went on a run with my friend Midori too, which was fun because we got to explore the main street all the way down Sugamo (which is really long, neeee) but now my feet hurt because my shoes are new and gave me blisters. Ouch! Time for shower! Matane mina-san (see you later everyone!)

At Softbank, the apparently best phone company for foreigners. it's still expensive.

Hey there! I am in the softbank store in Harajuku, Tokyo, hopefully able to get a cell phone! Yay! I am typing on a iPad so it's a little more difficult than normal to be able to write. Chotto muzukashii neeeeee.... My dad and I are sitting here, waiting... I'm hoping that they'll let me get my phone now that I have an alien registration card.. everything is really difficult to do here without that... How complicated! The phone I hope to get is rather cute, though, so once I have that life will be easier :) anyway, I got my form for the alien registration card today, so that took two hours, but it's a necessary bureaucratic step that I need to take to be living here like a citizen with a phone and a bank account. yay. Anyway, it also sucks not to be twenty here, because some things like the phone and some bank accounts must be for 20 year olds and above... How lame. but luckily nobody has even questioned me about my age regarding drinking... That would suck even more. Anyway, I think my number will be called in a couple minutes, so I better go just in case. Sayonara! :)

Nihon ni ikimasuuuu! (First day)

On the airplane to Japan! I think I have about an hour and a half to go. It’s nice because I got to move into an empty seat near a window, so now I have space and I can see outside and I’m not squished next to my dad. Excellent. My back hurts though, especially a spot that I think I pulled/strained in my lower left back- it’s all the fault of my damned suitcases- I hope bringing everything I could think of that was able to fit into two suitcases wasn’t a bad idea. We’ll see when I have to lug everything around Tokyo.
Anyway, I’m finally starting to get excited. It hasn’t really hit me yet, but I think once I get to Japan I will be very interested (yet weighed down with suitcases!) ack! I finished reading The Lord of the Flies on the flight, which I loved. It was very fascinating. I haven’t ever really read anything like it before. I especially enjoyed the psychological and philosophical themes delving into the origins of the defects of humanity and human nature as created by society and personality… and how personality relates to society and your place and view of society. Fascinating stuff. The last 20 or so pages were especially gripping for me, due to the desperation and pure wild horror of the chase and manhunt and the collapse of the order of this society of boys. Really cool. And frightening. It has made me a little wary of human nature, but it is also a great point for reflection. I’m glad I read it on my own and not for school like others. This way I really enjoyed it. I think I enjoyed reading about war, humanity, and wilderness, but only when it’s done well. And oh it was wonderful indeed. A bit too descriptive at parts, but in other parts, that same description really brought the island and the boys to life. Also, I was quite sad when Piggy died. I really felt bad for him, from the 2nd page of the book until the page on which he dies.  oh well. He’s a fascinating character. I also sympathized with the asthma and identified with his smarts.
Anyway, I am going to try and study some Japanese so I can actually remember how to speak when we get there.
I’m actually feeling better now since this morning. I was surprisingly pretty depressed about leaving the United States, especially since I realized that I forgot/didn’t have time to go to the store and get more makeup and face wash… Those are like the only products I really use… It’s kind of a shame that I forgot them. Maybe my mom will send some to me. I hopeeeee so. She mentioned sending stuff, even though it is slightly expensive, so I think she will send me it if she has something else to send (like the shoes I wanted from Macy’s). So realizing this kind of got me down, since I doubt I will find it here.. Maybe one of my friends who is coming to Japan can bring it, like Grace. It’s kind of sad how attached to these brands I am, but it’s what I know works for me. And it’s important to me for my face to look good (since I have acne and previous intense acne skin problems, now I just have scars and occasional acne).I have a container of each, but that only lasts so long.
I cried when I left,… I was feeling pretty depressed because my dad was being mean to me about how much stuff I brought with me and how much it hurt me to carry it. When you’re packing for a year and you know shoes and clothes as a general rule don’t fit you, I think it is necessary to bring everything you will need. That would be foolish otherwise. My dad is just a stupid asshole and he has a completely negative view on everything. ;/
I also had mixed feelings about leaving and I hadn’t really gotten that face stuff and blah blah blah… I missed Max too and I wanted to call him but I had no way to (gave my cell to mom). But now I am feeling better… I had some red wine (alcoholic drinks in one serving sizes are completely free on international flights, which I did not know, and they definitely didn’t even think about carding me.) Anyway, it’s time for dinner, and I must choose between a turkey sandwich and teriyaki with veggies… I think I’ll choose the thing I won’t have for a while..mmm, turkey. Anyway, wish me luck in the Tokyo airport/subway/train station/city/etc!! Here I come, Japan!!

Just made it to work! I had a nice breakfast lunch meal with my mom and my sister.. The food was great and we were all joking and having a great time :)

This is a test! My phone sent a bunch of crap to my blog earlier.. Hopefully this works!

:(

I am feeling stressed and depressed.
It's about two weeks until I am going to Japan.
I am just feeling like I need to talk to somebody, but it's so late I don't want to bother any of my close friends. And Max is asleep. :(
Mostly I just want to complain to Max, because I am in love with him and I miss him right now and I just want to hear his voice. And I am fucking PMS-ing up the wall and I am sore and tired and sad and overly emotional but I don't care if it's just my period making me sad. I am overwhelmed. I also am feeling like I should have spent an extra week in Santa Barbara. I miss it already. I only spent a week and a couple days there cause my mom kept pressuring me to come back and fill shit out, but I honestly didn't need to come back so soon, she was just tripping out and thinking I wouldn't get any of my shit done and my room isn't clean and blah blah blah blah dee blah. Fuck this shit. I hate being here. I just want to cuddle with Max right now.
:(
I feel stupid for leaving santa barbara, and I also feel stupid because my lifeguarding job reduced my hours this week because I was late to a shift and they COMPLETELY overreacted and thought I hadn't shown up but this other girl wanted to work anyway so I just let her (she called me) but they thought I wasn't going to show up at all so they FUCKING reduced my hours and now I only have three measly shifts. I can call people to get more shifts but it really doesn't sound good. I am FUCKED. I thought I was going to work so much more this week. I am PISSED.
And Ocarina of Time is a fucking hard game. It is fun to accomplish things, and I feel accomplished, but I am just too tired to handle the Forest Temple dungeon. I am tired. and PISSED off at fucking Evan, Julie for taking my shift and making it sound like I had forgotten my shift, and Derek for just being a complete dick and yelling at me the other day for no reason. Now I feel uncomfortable at work. Great.
:(
I need to clean. And relax. And forget about this shit. I am so annoyed.
I miss Max so fucking bad.
Japan better be fucking WONDERFUL. I have been putting up with shitty-ass paperwork and stress from my parents for at least 9 months. FUCK THIS SHIT.