I feel like writing about today, a random day in Japan. It just felt a little weird, like at some parts I was starring in my own twisted Japanese version of Twilight.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the projects I have at the moment. Even right now, I really feel like writing this note, but I know I should be working on other things. But I really just want to write! D: I also want to write about this weekend, but I guess I'll have to put that off for later tonight or tomorrow. Haha. Luckily I have class at 2:45 tomorrow, so I shouldn't have too much trouble getting everything done tonight that I need to do.

Woke up around 9, should have gotten ready by 9:45, which is when I should have left to go to class (aka a meeting with my independent study advisor), but instead I was a little late due to miscellaneous circumstances like not finding certain notebooks and changing my clothes a couple times (I need to stop doing that!)

I was late to my meeting with my advisor, but I didn't really care, because I've decided stress takes a really shitty toll on my body and I don't want to have more of it by stressing out about being late all the time. When I'm late, feeling shitty about it really isn't going to help.

So I just breathed easily, and imagined my eyes were a video camera as I walked up stairs, elevators, down the street past vendors, businessmen, security guards, mothers with children, and other students. Sometimes I do that here, since I can't film people on the street and my individual interactions with everything I see every day. I wish I could. I kind of want to bring a video camera with me and pretend it's off, but just have it running the entire trip to school, and kind of fast forward through my day in a short video to show a typical trip to school. I feel like it would be really cool. But maybe kind of illegal. I have no idea.

Anyway, I talked about my individual project on Cosplay with my advisor, which went well because I had prepared a lot of information and research that I had done online yesterday, haha. I've been really bad about getting things done lately. I just don't want to work, and I have an intense amount of projects to think about (A research paper and presentation on the Mafia's influence in America(American Studies), A research paper and presentation on Izumi Shikibu's works (Japanese Lit), an art project where we make a book with photos and other art we've created, my cosplay project, a culture, cultural identity, and cultural awareness group project on Bilingualism, and a paper due tomorrow for Japanese Psychology.

My sensei definitely liked the online cosplay magazine I discovered, which you can take a look at here if you make an account super easily (for all you cosplay kids like me) http://www.cosmodeonline.com/

If you guys have an information about cosplay/cosplayers or if you know any cosplayers in the United States or Japan, please let me know! I need as many sources as I can get for interviews/survey/information.

After my meeting, I met this guy, Takeshi, for lunch. We met at one of the Halloween parties I went to two weeks ago with a lot of other awesome Keio kids :P We danced together for some time when everyone went clubbing after the party. He's super nice, and a great dancer! I wasn't sure though if it was going to be like, a lunch date, or like just friendly, so I was a little relieved when he suggested we eat in the cafeteria (aka cheaper and less pressure). We ended up sitting next to mutual friends randomly, but we didn't really talk to them much, we just talked the whole time about random things together, which was nice :) And my friend Tony showed up randomly and we all walked to my Japanese Literature class together.

On the way to class, we ran into the professor, who was actually running a little late considering we were going to get there straight when the bell was going to ring. We all chatted and I mentioned my woes about my stolen bicycle. We all went in, and sat down... and then I realized.

I forgot my computer in the cafeteria! X_x

Why do I keep losing everything? Do I have no brain? I guess I was just concentrating too hard on getting to class on time and talking to both Takeshi and Tony... Uber distracted.

I ran out of the classroom, mentioning to the professor somehow not awkwardly that I had forgotten my computer and he completely understood.

I got back to the cafeteria and went immediately to the table at which we had been sitting. Searched everywhere, including under people's stuff that had moved there since we left, and it was nowhere to be found! I freaked out. How embarrassing. And just scary as shit. There are so many things I could never replace if my computer was lost. And it would be SO expensive to replace X_X

I went to one of the cafeteria check-out ladies, not knowing who to ask for help. She luckily wasn't a bad person to ask, as she went into the cafeteria's office to ask for lost-and-found stuff for me, but there was nothing in the cafeteria lost and found. She was highly apologetic but honestly I was super freaked out. How could have someone stolen my computer in that sort of time, in the middle of a school cafeteria, and nobody noticed it, or even saw my computer?

She gave me a number for some kind of lost and found line on campus, but I was like ugh, my phone is dying, and I have no idea how to find this... I went back to the area I left my computer, and just kind of stood there in disbelief, searching again... and then the Japanese people there felt sorry for me, so one girl was like I'll take you to the lost and found! How nice.

She took me there and THERE WAS MY COMPUTER!!! D: Amazing. I was so happy.

I had neglected to bring my bag with me though, and they wanted proof that I was a student, so I had to go back to the classroom (Again!), run in and disrupt everything, grab my id, and run back to get my computer. All of the girls cheered. At least that was nice.

I feel so stupid sometimes...

The rest of class passed by boringly, I fell asleep in the class I had left like three times, which was like, the height of rude. And then I tried to unplug my computer from the floor plug, and then it wouldn't unplug, and I was like WHATTT and Tony tried to help me, and then another Japanese student came over and they were like, all gathered around trying to pull it out... Finally the teacher came over and he was like what are you guys doing? Turn it to the left! And it just popped right out.

I had a tough time today.

Made it through the rest of classes okay.

I was leaving to go home, a little later than the rest of everyone who gets out of fourth period because I went to the bathroom, then took my time responding to some texts, and then I put my ipod in, and decided to just play cool while walking past the guys who always hang out by the smoking area and the atms and the library (literally a gauntlet of stares, almost every day) and I was too busy rocking out mentally that halfway down the cobblestone hill I didn't even notice Yohei trying to get my attention. Finally he ran up and tapped my shoulder or something and I was like OH! hahaha.

Of course I had to run into him today too.
That's what made today feel like Twilight.
I feel conflicted. I don't think I am interested. I think it was a bit of a drunk mistake to hook up with him, and I don't want to feel obligated to continue things, just because they happened. But he started out totally friendly, and I don't ever want to be a bitch, so then I just kept talking to him and enjoying and whatever. Even when he reached over to twirl a piece of my hair carelessly I brushed it off.

But I just don't know. He said all he was doing was returning books, so I said I might as well come with him because it was nice and I didn't mind. I had time.

But after we left the library, he walked me to the station, and he was totally trying to put his arm around me and stuff, and I was like ehh. Not feeling it.

I don't think I want to do that.

I let him kiss me, though. Which I really shouldn't have. But I felt guilty.

I need to stop sending mixed messages. But he's so nice, I just don't think I want anything romantic with him... But I want to be friends with him. And I don't want him to hate me or something.

I don't know! D:

I must say though, I'm flattered by all of it despite the awkward situations I've been placed in. That's the problem. I can't help it.



I ran into a freakishly large amount of people on campus and walking home off campus and whatnot too, today. It was just strangely coincedental, all of the instances. Like running into Eiichiro in the station right when we were switching trains. And Tony again on the way home. I offered to cook him dinner because he has no money right now (like 1000 yen for the next week). So he came by and he took some rice I had made and we boiled some curry together. Lol. Exciting times.

Now i've been trying to do homework/research/writing, which has failed, and practice songs for the upcoming practice my rock circle has on Saturday. I am going to memorize all the words to all of these songs! I swear! D:




I hope I can continue to be a nice person. I don't want to turn into a bitch out of neccesity, or out of self-conceit/vanity.